Thursday, 7 April 2011

BSFN 13 - Sharktopus

Possibly the first bad science film with is own theme song (on iTunes no less!), BSFN 13 was devoted to SHARKTOPUS.
Yep. You read that right.
SHARKTOPUS.

Image from BeyondHollywood.com -
home of an excellent Sharktopus review
The thirteenth bad science film was a SyFy original movie (other SyFy original movies include BSFN11 - Megafault), produced by B-movie legend Roger Corman (of the original Piranha) and was rated by IMDb users as a 3.7/10. Therefore it was clearly an excellent film for the bad science film night-ites to unleash their inner SNARK-TOPUSSES (SNARK-TOPODI? SNARK-TOPI? SNARK-TOPOLLI?) and enjoy the majesty of SHARKTOPUS.

The movie opens with a girl in a bikini swimming off Santa Monica (excitement for people recently returned from visiting prestigious Southern California institutions at the inclusion of a place they had been in a movie - we had similar problems with Volcano). As her friend watches (also scantily clad - obviously), a fin appears in the water - oh no! But *relief* a mysterious half shark, half octopus creature saves the girl by killing the puny shark! Hooray for Sharktopus, which is sensibly made from the front bitey half of a shark and the bottom tentacley half of an octopus! Cut to a lab populated by two scientists (signposted by the fact they are wearing lab coats, despite their position behind a computer and lack of test tubes in the vicinity), Eric Roberts and a military man (uniform)...the military man is happy because Sharktopus is proven to be a successful weapon! Unfortunately, like all military experiments in B-movies, the experiment is pushed too far...and Sharktopus ends up having his control collar knocked off in an unfortunate collision with a boat. 

Now that Sharktopus is free he rampages down the California coast - eating scantily clad women as he goes! Including a girl who is credited as "Bikini Girl with Bum", which is presumably the girl who got eaten whilst a pervy, slightly homeless looking guy was watching. Sharktopus then settles in a particularly beautiful town in Mexico, where he demonstrates his totally ridiculous ability to walk on his tentacles. Because that is a standard octopus skill. I suppose it is not that far from using coconuts for defence. In Sharktopus's rampage many people die, mostly girls with very little clothing. I think it is clear from this summary that Sharktopus as a movie is a perfect example of a Bad Science Film - it has even inspired other craftier fans of bad science films to create sharktopus plushies!
  • Favourite Tagline: 50% Shark, 50% Octopus, 100% DEADLY!
  • Premise: Reckless scientists (are there any other kind?) make a SHARKTOPUS, which is controlled by a collar. Unfortunately the collar is not boat proof (design oversight, clear indication that too few engineers were employed by project SHARKTOPUS - Oompa Loompas of science are not to be overlooked) and therefore SHARKTOPUS runs amok in beautiful Mexico. The running bit is surprisingly literal for a cross between 2 aquatic creatures.
  • Best death: Bungee girl! Serves her right for overcoming her fear of heights so completely. 
  • Worst piece of science: Cross a shark (lives in the sea, swims) with an octopus (lives in the sea, swims via tentacular propulsion) and create a swimming, WALKING, ocean AND river bound creature. With the ability to stab people with its spiky tentacles whilst walking around. Naturally.
  • Overall review: Well, terrible obviously. But it is called SHARKTOPUS, and is therefore the greatest film of 2011 so far. I don't care that the King's Speech is an Oscar winner - where is the walking, stabbing, biting sea creature?!?!
  • Total number of BSFN-ites: 7? Confined space compatible.

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